Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day 155 - Desperation - How will the world ever change?

I saw a photo on facebook today, a notification written by an organization that is dedicated to expose the inhumane activity that has been going on in the west bank in the past several years - This kind of exposure, that this organization is involved with, is valuable and vital to continue, due to the local media being bias, and thus doesn't reflect to the people of Israel the actual brutality that the Palestinians endure and go through, day in and day out. And so, the people of Israel are not fully aware of the atrocities that are taking place in our back yard, and whenever a piece of information does manage to slip through the veil of pro-Israeli propaganda and censorship, it is dismissed and justified within the fear that has been pumped into us and accepted as the truth of our reality and who we are.

 

I was appalled to read the hateful and spiteful comments beneath the photo, comment after comment, all condemning this organization, blaming them for being anti-Israel, blaming them for only fighting for the rights and well being of the Palestinians while Israelis have it rough as well, as Israelis have been living in danger and fear as well - it's an ridicules comparison - comparing the life of an average Israeli to the life of an average Palestinian - how ignorant and not aware of the physical reality one must be to stand behind such a comparison?

 

As I was reading their comments, it was obvious that these people are brainwashed, and have lost touch with the physical reality, they have lost the basic understanding that before and beyond us being separated by countries and politics, we are all human beings, they have lost the recognition that there are not monsters and demons on the other side of the fence , but people, flesh and blood, families and communities - people with names and hobbies, children that express the joy of laughter, mothers who care for their daughters, fathers who want to protect their families, educators who want the best for their students, doctors who want to heal the sick and injured, friends who want to sped time and enjoy each other - they, the haters, have forgotten that they, the Palestinians, are just like us, the Israelis - all they want is to live a happy and fulfilling life, though, within this situation, they are defending themselves, living in fear, living in hatred based on the past, based on what their leaders and media tell them, based on their daily experience, as they are living in a controlled war zone, surrounded by a hostile army, as well as surrounded by terror organizations that take shelter in their kitchens or schools… They have such uncomfortable living conditions, to say the least, but they are mainly guilty of the same crime we are, they are trying to survive - where as, all these haters that wrote the comments, are so caught up in their own fears and beliefs that they cannot see straight and actually consider the situation in common sense, within seeing all it's complicated aspects - all they can see has been cluttered and distorted by hate and fear.

 

The situation in Israel / Palestine is complex, and every minute that it continues unresolved makes the tare between the people bigger, and thus the situation harder to mend - but, up till today I thought the problem was a political one, not a personal one, and so, what I found most troubling today, is the comments, written by "my own people", comments full of hate, anger, rage and revenge - towards the Palestinians, and towards the organization who dares to stand up to protect the basic human right to a dignified and fulfilled life, obviously within exposing the insensitivity and unnecessary abuse Israel is participating within and directing for long enough.

 

I realize that finding a practical solution that is best for all might take time, negotiation, investigation, understanding, compassion, forgiveness - I realize there isn't a magic solution to a problem that has been compounding and perpetuation for so many years, I understand there are many points of view and it might take patience and perseverance to walk through all the options and actually find a solution, I even realize that there are political agendas to keep the situation going - I understand it's going to be hard, but I always knew it can be done - today, as I was reading the comments I experienced despair, I lost hope, I couldn't see beyond their hateful words, I couldn't see how any peace will even be possible if this is what's infesting the minds of people - how will there ever be a solution if this is how people see each other and look at the situation?

 

It took me a while to snap out if this experience, I was assisted by friends through talking the point out, and I realized that I have been fooling myself in several levels - I had made "them", the haters, into the problem, as I've abdicated my own self responsibility within accepting and allowing the world system to be as it is, as I've always knew about the situation but preferred to let others handle it, not standing up within and as myself, but instead I've been a silent observer, as a silent partner to all that has been going on around me. I have separated myself from them, the haters, in blame and self righteousness, and thus participating in exactly that which I blame them for, as I have been towards them as they are towards the Palestinians, existing within / as a polarity as I am the "good" and they are the "bad" instead of seeing the situation as it's physicality, no judgments, no blame, no polarities, no rights or wrongs. I have allowed myself to take their comments personally and to become emotional, overwhelmed in despair, which I realize is just another mind trick to keep me from breathing, from being here in equality and oneness within and as myself, keeping me from finding practical common sense solutions, towards solving and correcting myself within creating myself as the foundation for a solution / correction on a greater scale. I realize that, within the experience of giving up, within the experience of desperation I have been distracting myself from taking any physical action, even if the only action that I can practically do is to remain here in breath, it would be more effective, more supportive, more practical and more physical than going into the mind in the energy of an emotional reaction…

 

How easy it is to point figures and blame those that express their inner demons while I hide my inner demons disguised as self righteousness, judgment and blame, believing myself to be a better person, while actually proving to myself that we are in fact all the same, and thus we must always find ways to support ourselves and each other, and not turn to spitefulness and blame, as I've so easily done, just as they do towards the Palestinians

 

I realize that I don't know how and why they became to be hates, I don't know their life story, yet I judge them, and view them only through the lens of the few words I read, becoming narrow minded towards them, ignoring the multidimensionality of them and seeing them as only one thing "racist haters", just as they see the Palestinians.

 

I realize that my responsibility at this moment is to breathe, to remain stable, to write myself out and forgive myself when / as I see myself going into reaction such as I've experienced today, my responsibility is to express common sense when / as I can, as a form of self support and within that realizing that maybe someone will see the common sense and will start questioning their beliefs and their judgments, I realize that my responsibility is to live as an example of the principle of equality and oneness, and thus, my responsibility is to make sure that all that I participate within is aligned with equality and oneness as what is best for all, in equal consideration of all - I see today that the road is going to be a long one, I see how easy it is to judge and divert my focus on others, while participating in the exact same construct I blame them for - I realize that as long as I allow myself to be moved and directed by the mind I am equal to them from that perspective, as they too are being directed by their minds - thus, only through actual self change will I ever be able to support another to change, only through self correction will I be able to understand the path one has ahead towards self correction - until then, all I can do is humbly walk my process, in breath, in writing, in self forgiveness, one step at a time.

http://www.btselem.org/sites/default/files2/photos/060117_hebron_gil-cohen-magen8644.jpg

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1 comments:

Martijn de Graaf said...

thanks a lot, I calmed my upset 'heart'

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