Wednesday, July 4, 2012

day 11 - temper tantrum game


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I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into emotional tantrum and be directed and moved by this tantrum, not allowing myself to stop and realize myself as breathe here

 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a temper tantrum due to having one of my characters exposed as a lie, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a temper tantrum within the attempt to save my character from the blame and accusations thrown at it, thus validating within/as myself that the character is real, not giving myself the opportunity to see it as it is, a self-created character

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate and support other's temper tantrum within the justification that I am supporting them, when in fact I am only supporting their character they are now protecting within their temper tantrum, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate and support their tantrum within the idea that that's what they want/need, thus allowing their tantrum to continue and not supporting them as life within the justification that it will make them feel better, thus placing more value on feeling good than on life as what is best for all within the realization that tantrums is NOT what is best for all in any way due to being directed by emotions as anger/spitefulness/desire and therefore lack any self-direction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with other's temper tantrum because "that is what they do for me, and thus that is what they expect from me" within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself and self-expression as support due to expectation I believe others have of me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume other's will not see their character and do not want to see it to begin with and thus I will not show them within fear of their reaction within fear of conflict, thus allowing myself to be directed by fear/expectation as the character I have created myself as, instead of allowing myself to let go the character within the need to validate it through love and acceptance of others and allow myself to actually live as self-support if/when I see someone going into a temper tantrum

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto others within the belief that I am supporting their character and temper tantrum to please THEM when in fact the reason I do so I to validate myself as the character I have created as myself, and allow myself the right to go into tantrum within the expectation that others will not get in my way and support/participate in my tantrum within their desire to justify their own tantrums so that we can all keep our characters unchanged for ever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when going into a temper tantrum to stay within the self-belief and experience that I am out of control and cannot stop myself, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself within a temper tantrum not allowing myself to stop within/as breath within the realization that this temper tantrum is showing me a character I am fighting to protect/defend and to realize that within self-support I can stop myself as the temper tantrum to look at what I am showing myself within the tantrum, to see the character I have created and have allowed to control/possess me, to realize that within defining myself as this character I am now fighting for its survival instead of letting it go within the understanding that it is not real and is not serving that which is best for all due to it being an illusion as a character and not real as life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel so guilty after allowing myself to fall into a temper tantrum and then to make myself feel better I opologize to all that were involved, instead of actually looking within/as myself to see/realize what character I was fighting to protect within the tantrum, to actually allow myself to face myself as the character and change myself as what is best for all, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and feel better through having others forgive/understand me instead of directing me to forgive myself through understanding the mind construct that I have allowed to possess me as the temper tantrum.



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